Photograph (4/26/2003)

for the past 18 and 3 months
i've kept myself hidden by lock & key,
tried to keep myself from contact,
away from coming to close
of letting anyone to know me.

scared of people--not likely,
not diseased or unhealty--
just scared of your departure
when you find out the real me.

i'm not beautiful nor the typical lady;
much rather dress down but comfortably.
i am a tangled mess of emotions,
mainly confusion and fear.

spontaneous, yes
rash, most definitely,
unique, just like everybody else,
self-conscious, horribly,
myself--no i'm still trying to be.

perhaps you could help me,
if not so very earnestly,
find that misplaced lock & key,
that closed up Me from knowing me.