What Came Before (10/19/2005)

it’s not hard not to be politic when you live in a society
that’s set up to see you fail
considerably low,
like when you take two steps ahead, you are hurled fifteen steps back.

everyday is like a waking journey
every breath I take is another beginning that signifies the end of one, somewhere
i have epiphanies everyday
i think everyday
i travel to places unexplored by the nakedness of thought
a critic, a cynic, an optimist trapped in a spiral of worlds revolving, dreams failing, hearts breaking

it’s easy to be angry
what’s harder is finding the objective, the purpose, the drive to turn that anger into something
positive
for the sake of humanity
of you
and me

i close my eyes and feel the delicate strings of this body that creates beauty
and with the vibrations of molecules of sound
i envision a different reality
for many millions just like me
hoping to get a puff of peace
in the smog that we call life

and my body burns of lust, of desire for the unconventional
it longs to be used,
this body, which had been battered and torn and voice unheard,
becomes my weapon of choice

i refuse to be just a part of the demographic
analyzed and categorized into crooked and uneven bar lines
trying to find the pattern and flow of bodies from one ocean to another

i can’t just go with the flow anymore:
“whatever happens, happens”--
i refuse to go along with it.